Practice His Presence

I was practicing the presence of the Lord a few days ago, for the first time frankly. I'd sat down, my dear friend Steve had told me to just still my heart before God and ask Him for His presence. That was essentially all I was doing, when I began to practice some things that Andrew taught me the other night. I was just picturing my Psalm 23, my pasture, my place where I am lead beside still waters and find Jesus. It sounds weird, but I was sitting there, before Jesus, and then I got the image. It was... awesome. It was really simple, it was a fruit. At first I thought an apple, then I wondered if it was a cherry. I asked God to reveal more, and the fruit cut away to reveal the center of an apple, with seeds galore. Alright, Jesus, what does this mean I asked? This image had come from no where, so I was pretty sure it was from God. There is plenty of fruit imagery in Scripture, but what was God saying to me? I asked Him. Then I realized that I was fruit. In order to reproduce, to bear more fruit, to fulfill the function for which He created me, I'd have to die. I have to give myself wholly unto that destiny, to die to myself, in order for true life to abound. So my word for today is to give myself to the Lord with abandon, and let myself, my flesh, die. What exactly that means, and how it relates to what I was praying about at the time, I don't really know. Die to sin? Die to my dreams? Die to my boredom and lethargy? Die to my confusion? I'll keep pressing Him for that answer. But who cares?! God is speaking, and He's letting me enjoy His presence. I don't care what it means at this point, I don't care what the cost is, I don't care what the specifics are. My God is here. Praise the Lord!