whispers divine

I don't know what God's up to, but it's so obvious that He's moving and that it includes me that it is actually a little intimidating, along with exciting, and extremely surreal. That night that I had dinner with Pete, he said something along the lines of this: He wanted someone to fight for an intimate relationship with God along side him, not just some accountability partner, but someone who would really join in the struggle for a Spirit-filled life. He told me that essentially, God had directed him to me as someone who just wasn't satisfied with what most people are, and that it was apparent to him I wanted more. More than anyone else he knew, I was someone he identified with as desperately thirsty for more of God's Spirit and direction and overall presence in my life - and he wanted us to fight together for a more intimate, more powerful relationship with our Lord, Savior, and Creator. Then tonight at Large Group a woman spoke on prayer. Her testimony was powerful and her presentation met the group where we were and imparted a lot to us. So I went up to thank her after a closing time of prayer, and she asked me if I had prayed out. I said yes, as I'd prayed once or twice aloud for God to show us the next step, that there were those of us that were thirsty, but didn't know where to go from there. She told me that she could tell I was passionate just by the way I spoke, and that God didn't create such powerful desire to let a person down or limit them to the occassional emotional high at a well-orchestrated worship service. This was encouraging, but nor particularly uncanny. Then she went all supernatural and said things she couldn't have possibly understood the impact of. Basically, she said that perhaps not everyone was called to the level of passion and desire that I was, and that maybe more than other people necessarily, I wanted God in greater abundance, intimacy, and power. That is to say, this complete stranger intuited the same thing as my housemate, who I remind my readers I have hardly ever interacted with, within a week of each other. Can I just say as far as my own sanctification, they picked a lousy week to percieve my heart for God (I've been so selfish and stressed), not to mention the fact that I have never thought of myself as having a desperation for God any more than everyone else ought to. God, you are whispering things in my ear and sending me signs of varying degrees of subtlety - I hear you. I eagerly anticipate a life in your service, and I just ask you God, show me the next step. Call on me Lord, command me Lord - Here I am.